Primal Quest Page 21

  You can try to convince me of your side of things, but I know that they didn’t lie to me. Raven had no doubts about his conclusions.

  I didn’t think that they would have lied to you about things, but you got all of the bad incidents in one telling apparently. I promise you that I wasn’t in that much trouble over my lifetime. For the most part, it was very normal, calm, and safe. Caidi frowned at him as she sent him those thoughts. If I heard about every battle you fought, every incident, every raid you commanded in one long telling, I am sure that I would think that you were nothing but a conscienceless, war-mongering brute that lived for the thrill of the kill.

  Perhaps you would, but maybe you wouldn’t. Raven’s noncommittal reply infuriated her.

  Caidi glared at him. The man was totally immovable when it came to this subject. He seemed to have focused only on those incidents that were dangerous and concluded that her life had always been like that.

  How could he seriously think that she had lived her whole life surrounded by trouble and managed to come out virtually untouched? Even if what he said was true, what could happen to her here? Did he think that a tree would fall on her as she walked through the forest, that there were rogue animals waiting to attack her when no one else had encountered them?

  He worried about her as if she were a mere human woman, not capable of taking care of herself against the most minor show of force. He didn’t seem to be able to see her for what she really was. She was a strong, capable Zarain who had seen to not only her own needs, but those of her pack for years without his exalted protection. How was she supposed to prove that to him?

  They returned to the camp in silence. Caidi was fuming over his presumptions and his attitude. Raven took her straight to their tent. She entered the tent, but stopped dead only a few steps into the tent. Her clothing was neatly stacked on a cloth next to Raven’s bag, but her bag was gone. She merely turned to Raven and raised her eyebrow in demand of an explanation.

  “They will return your bag, once they have removed all of the stones from it,” Raven told her easily. When the silence stretched between them, he walked over to her. “Talk to me, yell at me. I know that you want to do something. I can feel your frustration, your anger. Tell me about it. Don’t thin your lips and simply glare at me.”

  Caidi swung away from him. She knew that her emotions were too out of control now for her to be really coherent. She walked toward the tent flap, but Raven’s fingers curled around her forearm, stopping her before she took more than two steps.

  She looked down at his hand wrapped around her arm, not tight, but the grip firm. There was no way she would be able to wrench her arm out of his grip. She raised her eyes to his face which had hardened and formed lines of determination.

  “We are going to talk about this now, Caidi. Don’t fight with me about this.” Raven waited patiently for her to accept that fact.

  Caidi wanted to scream at his arrogance and his blindness. “Look at me, Raven. Tell me what you see.”

  “My chalie, I see you.” Raven couldn’t understand what she was asking. She was his mate. To him, she was everything.

  “What do you see when you look at me? What am I?” Caidi asked insistently.

  “I see my mate, a Zarain woman with blonde hair—” Raven began only to be interrupted by Caidi.

  “Exactly!” Caidi said exultantly when he had named her Zarain. “I am a shifter. I was born Zarain. I was hunting alone in the fur before I reached womanhood. I am more than a woman, but more importantly, I am now Shadatai Zarain. I won’t break and I am more than capable of defending myself against most things that I would encounter in a forest.”

  “Caidi…” Raven tried to interrupt the words flowing from her, but Caidi refused to allow him to stop her before she finished saying what she what she needed him to see.

  “I can stand having to have a guard when I leave the camp, although it rankles me. I don’t understand why I have to have one of your warriors trailing after me while I am within the safety of the camp. That is more than insulting to me.” Caidi glared at him and yanked at her arm.

  “It’s not about your abilities.” Raven shrugged. He knew that she could hunt and take care of herself in most situations, but this was a far from normal situation.

  “What can happen to me when I am surrounded by not only your men, but the Kaden and your ally Zaden’s warriors? Being constantly followed and watched makes me feel like a prisoner, that I’m not trusted. I don’t think that any of the men here would allow me to leave camp alone.” Caidi tried to make him understand how being constantly under guard made her feel. She had to make him see it.

  Raven grimaced. He knew that she was telling the truth. He could feel her anger, her distress. “I can see your point about the guards following you when you are within the safety of the camp,” he conceded. “I will inform them that it is no longer necessary to follow you here, but you have to allow that you have experienced more trouble in your years than some people do in an entire lifetime.”

  Caidi pursed her lips as she seriously thought about the amount of trouble that had come her way. “It may be true that I was in risky situations a few times during my younger years, but it was far from an everyday occurrence. Some of it couldn’t have been avoided. I will concede that there might be some people who are able to live their lives in splendid bliss and safety, but that doesn’t mean that I attract trouble to me.”

  “You think that other women would do what you have done?” Raven waited for her answer.

  “My life was destined to be different. I was Acine to a pack without an Achan and composed entirely of females. But aside from my position as Acine and the fact that I ruled alone for a time, I am an ordinary Zarain woman.” He acted as if she was unusual, when she was just like other women.

  Raven had to chuckle at the slight defensiveness of her tone. She truly thought she was a normal person when she was so very extraordinary.

  “There is nothing wrong with you,” he confirmed, seeking to comfort her. “Have you ever thought about how strange it was that on the very night that you had decided to put your plan to find a Zarain man to father your child, you find that there is a group of Shadatai Zarain residing in the inn that you had chosen as the best place for your hunting ground? Most women would have thought they had found more than their share of trouble. There are women who would have sat on the bed crying after discovering what I was instead of calmly incapacitating me.”

  “I didn’t exactly see it as a stroke of good fortune and if you will recall, I got out of your room as fast as I could when I was able to do so.” Caidi remembered the frustration, the anger and the confusion of that night. That night had been meticulously planned. It had been executed perfectly, yet everything had still gone wrong.

  Raven smiled. There was a wealth of remembered satisfaction in that toothy expression. “I did and still do see it as an act of good fortune. The God and Goddess smiled on both of us. I believe that I was meant to see that you always have someone to watch over you, to take care of you, even when you are in a prickly mood.”

  Caidi’s frown was menacing and foreboding, but clearly ineffective on the large, hulking man standing in front of her with a smile pasted on his face. “I can take care of myself. I’m not helpless.”

  “Mm… I know that you can take care of yourself and that you could see to all of your needs if you had to. I need to take care of you, to keep you safe always. This isn’t about you. This is for me, for my peace of mind.” Raven reached out and brushed his hand across her face, down to her shoulder. “The thought of some of the things that you have been through in your life is enough to give me nightmares. I need to be sure that you won’t be alone in another dangerous situation.”

  “I survived them,” Caidi said with a sigh, but emotion, a strange mixture of happiness and frustration, boiled within her. What was she supposed to do when he said that he needed to watch over her, not because she was unable to do it, but for his sake?

>   “Your mere survival isn’t good enough, especially when you are carrying my baby. You will be safe and protected and really live.”

  Caidi groaned. “What have I been doing other than living?”

  “The Taivain has been attacked by rogues, there have been mysterious accidents with some of your trade goods after they have left your custody, and there have been attempts on your life. It all adds up to someone having a grudge against you or the Zarain.” Raven hoped that she would see that there was a reason for his protectiveness.

  “I object to your exaggeration of the facts! I haven’t been in a really serious situation in a long time.” Caidi’s free hand went to her hip as she glared at him.

  “If you don’t count getting taken by the Bavaok, a long time for you would be about two ronas before you met me, right?” Raven dared her to contradict him.

  Caidi’s mouth dropped open in surprise. “When did you have the time to talk to them for that long? Did they tell you every detail of my life or did they only tell you the bad parts?”

  “They mostly only told me the exciting parts of your life, most of which would be called bad by some. I asked them to tell me of your life.” Raven wouldn’t let her sidetrack him with such details.

  Caidi had noticed that he hadn’t answered the when of the inquisition in question, but it was apparent that he had questioned them extensively about every little incident that had been mentioned. “There was a fight at the bar where we met with those who would execute the plan and set up some of the details. I wasn’t really involved in it. We were leaving the tavern and I got cut by a knife that was swung by some fool at another fool. They were fighting each other. I was in no way the target, merely injured accidentally in the fray. It was merely a minor cut on my arm, didn’t even need stitching. We left without further incident.”

  Raven looked at her. “A knife fight starts near you and you don’t think it’s serious?”

  It wasn’t that much of a story. The incident was hardly as dangerous as he had made it sound. It was hardly worth a fuss at all. “You are being unreasonable about this. If you had heard about these things happening to anyone else, you wouldn’t be surprised or concerned about them. It would just make for an interesting life story.”

  “That other person wouldn’t be my concern, my mate, if I had simply heard of the exploits, but keeping you safe and alive is my concern.” Raven didn’t know how to make her see the seriousness of this threat. “It is my duty to see to your health, your safety and your happiness.”

  Caidi sighed, temporarily admitting defeat on this issue. For the moment, she had to accept that he was overprotective and prone to keep a hyper-vigilant watch over her, especially since she was pregnant. He had always been protective. Being told all of those stories about some of the worst incidents in her life had strengthened his determination to keep her safe.

  “Tell me more about how you would fool a shifter of any kind, if you knew that you would have to get very close to him, maybe for extended periods.” Raven decided to return to the original topic.

  “You are changing the subject,” Caidi growled. “We are talking about your lack of belief in my ability to see to my safety.”

  “I’m not changing the subject. We are finished discussing why you have guards with you. We are now returning to the subject we were talking about before you became upset about my seeing to your safety.” Raven laughed. “Now, tell me how you would fool them.”

  “How I would do it would depend on exactly how close I needed to get to the shifters. If I was simply going to be in their general area, maybe in the same marketplace, but I knew that I wouldn’t get really close to them, I would just use the stone to conceal my identity.” Caidi tugged and this time he released the arm he still held.

  “And if you expected closer contact?” Raven watched her. Her hands fluttered. He understood that she was feeling trapped.

  “If I thought that there was even a small chance that I could come into close contact with any shifter, if I thought that there was a risk that they would be able to identify a Zarain smell as mine, I wouldn’t take any chances that there would be a way to identify me. I would use the lotion to disguise my scent.” Caidi paced to the other side of the tent and back. “The combination of the stone and the lotion has never failed to mask our presence while we were among other shifters.”

  “The lotion that you speak of, how does it work? Where do you get it? I know that you didn’t carry in any of that when you came home from Falash. I would have noticed a lotion bottle on the shelf.”

  “It simply masks the scent of the person wearing it. Unlike most lotions, this one has a light enough fragrance for a shifter to tolerate wearing it for extended periods without undue irritation,” Caidi explained with a shrug. “As to where I get it, I make it. My mother couldn’t find one that was already on the market that would work. She worked hard on it and after trying many combinations, she found the recipe to be simple.”

  “You hold some valuable secrets in your head, my chalie. It is yet another reason that I must have been sent to watch over you,” Raven declared.

  “I will tell you everything that I know, Raven. I’m not being deliberately obstructive,” Caidi assured him. “I will teach you how to make the lotion. It is now your choice who you share the secret with. I will also take you to the place where I get the stones. Just give me a little time to adjust my thinking.”

  Raven nodded. “I know that you are trying. It is undoubtedly strange confiding in someone after holding the secret for so long.”

  “For years, I thought that the only person whom I would ever share my knowledge with was my child, be it boy or girl. I have become so accustomed to secrecy in my life. I am so used to protecting others. I had to learn to rule. I haven’t had much experience with sharing my burdens, secrets or joys since childhood.” Restlessly, Caidi paced. The time in the forest had not alleviated the feeling of confinement.

  “I’m not worried about when you will tell me your secrets, Caidi.” Raven strode over and grasped her hands. “I will take care of you and keep you safe while you adjust to having another to lean on, to trust.”

  “You know, for a Shadatai male, you can be surprisingly tolerant, my chalon,” Caidi teased with a smile.

  Raven smiled back at her, deciding to tease her back. “A tolerant, capable warrior with nearly unlimited patience was needed for a woman such as you, to protect you and to protect your pack. It is very lucky the God and Goddess decided to smile on you and send you to me that night. You are indeed blessed.”

  Caidi glared at him. Insulting him was apparently a waste of time. “I don’t have that many enemies, Raven, and I was doing just fine without your overconfident, overprotective male presence.”

  Raven laughed. “When did you want to take a bath?”

  “I was thinking that it would be best to go when it is dark.” Caidi frowned at him. “That way there will be less chance of me being seen while I’m bathing.”

  “When it is dark.” Raven shook his head in disbelief. Did the woman not hear what he had just said? “No one will come near the spot where you are bathing. You have my word. We’ll go while it is still light.”

  Caidi sighed, knowing defeat when it was standing before her, glaring down at her as if she were a dim-witted child. “When before dark do we go?”

  “We will go in the early afternoon so that we can come back to camp just before the evening meal is ready.” Raven knew from the pained look on her face that she wasn’t happy.

  “Before the evening meal isn’t tonight, Raven. I wanted you to join me in bathing in the river. I thought that it would be a nice opportunity for us to be close,” Caidi argued.

  “I had always planned to join you in the water.” Raven gave her a broad, toothy smile.

  “But if it is light when I bathe, you will have to watch, to guard. There will be no opportunity for you to join me.” Caidi wanted to enjoy the water with him.

  “No one Kaden or Zar
ain will go anywhere near the spot that I choose for us. They know that we are a newly reunited couple and respect that. We will be able to sense anyone in the area. They know that I would have their hides for a rug if I find any of them near us tonight.” Raven brushed his thumb over her lip. He too looked forward to bathing with her. “We will have complete privacy for our bath in the river.”

  “And we won’t get interrupted with some emergency that only you can handle?” Caidi pressed wanting to be sure that she wasn’t misinterpreting that look in his eyes.

  “No, we won’t be interrupted for any reason.” Raven wanted her alone. “If there is an emergency that requires a decision from someone in authority, my men know that I would trust Zaden with my life.”

  Caidi raised no more objections to his plans to bathe before the evening meal. They ate the midday meal among the men and most of the talk during the meal was about the crystals. After she finished eating, Caidi smiled at Raven and left. He had been true to his word, as she wandered around the large camp, she had no escort. It was a small victory, but one she hoped to expand into other areas.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Caidi and Raven left the camp for the spot he had picked along the tree-lined river. She was looking forward to this. She held the towels and a cake of soap as Raven led the way to the chosen spot. He carried nothing. Caidi knew that that was because he was still in protector mode, expecting trouble to come looking for her. He wanted to be prepared should he have to fight.

  The place which he chose for their bath was similar to the one where she had chosen to wait for him this afternoon. There were rocks along the river’s edge, however, the flat stones here were more than a shelf at the water’s edge. They continued into the water and promised a nice place to wash without coming out with muddy feet. She smiled. She eyed those rocks as ideas flowed through her head. A bath was far from the only thing on her mind.