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HerMatesEmbrace Page 17
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“Look, if you’re upset because I woke you, that’s fine. You can go back to bed. I’m not the one insisting on staying here.” She surged to her feet and her hands landed on her hips. “You act as if you’re not getting almost everything as you want it. Well, you are and you’re not getting any more from me. You can count yourself lucky that I’m still even here.”
Linc’s eyebrows rose at that. The little cat was feeling a little aggressive right now. “You’re here because your desire for revenge is greater than your fear of mating with us.”
“I’m not scared of either of you.” She took a step forward. “Do you think I’d be in the same room with you if I thought you were dangerous?”
“Well, there’s dangerous to your health and then there’s dangerous to your self-control. Laed and Kynar are a threat, if not to you, then other people. Colm and I, we’re a threat to your self-control. You want to be with us. You’re pulled to be with us. There’s a part of you even now, when you’re angry with me, that wants to come over here and curl up in my lap.” Linc didn’t get up and go to her. He wanted her to feel the truth of his words and know that he wasn’t going to let her pretend any longer.
She snarled. “Be with you, not really. At times hurt you, yes.”
“You’re such a little liar.” He smiled and rose to his feet. He held his arms out from his body in invitation. “I can see the hunger in your eyes right now. You want nothing more than to come over here and wrap your arms around me. I’m right here and I’m not going to turn you away.”
She looked at him and then her eyes slid to the bed behind him. Those pretty eyes hardened. “No.”
He grimaced. He’d forgotten her thing with the bed. “It’s just a bed, you know.”
She didn’t say a word.
He tilted his head. Definitely a stubborn cat. She wasn’t going to admit anything without some encouragement, but first, he needed to get her a little angrier. She was still too tense and too aware. She’d watch what she said unless he managed to break through her composure. Once she’d admitted it aloud, it would be real to both of them. Now she was hiding. He intended to take that option away from her.
He took the two steps forward that closed the distance between them. “We’ll have all of you soon.”
“No.” Her eyes widened and the words slid from her lips in a low hiss.
“Oh, yes,” he whispered as he slowly began to circle her. “You already want our touch and want to know more of us. You’ll take the next step on your own.”
“Not until I’m sure.” She shook her head vehemently.
She turned her head and her eyes followed him as he came around to her front. Linc trailed his fingers across her stomach. She drew in a hitching breath. Her eyes sparkled with a combination of excitement and near panic. He felt a little bad for pushing her, but he knew that she had to know the truth. Until she was sleeping in the same room with them, she was vulnerable. That fact had been driven home to him. After that shock, he wasn’t inclined to back off or let the sympathy rule him.
“How can you be sure when you’re hiding behind your fears and the fucking herbs and lotions or whatever you’re using? You avoid us. You don’t try to learn about us. You don’t want to take a chance. You’d rather run away than take a risk.” Linc let his frustration flow and stopped right in front of her to glare down at her. Did she think he liked the fact that his mate feared the thought of completing the bond between them? It wasn’t something he could accept.
“I’m not running away!” She grabbed his shirt in both hands. “I need time. I know—”
“You know what?” He raised a brow and as much as he wanted to hold her, he kept his hands hanging at his side. The moment his skin touched hers, he’d begin to comfort her. He knew it without a doubt. He wouldn’t be able to stop himself from stroking her shoulders and arms.
“I know you didn’t want me or any woman who was your mate,” she said through gritted teeth.
That wasn’t really new information, but he’d take it. “That’s Colm.”
“No, it’s you too. Do you think I didn’t realize quickly that if you’d wanted to find your real mate, really wanted it, that he wouldn’t have denied you that? You’re the most important thing in his life. It wasn’t important to you. You’d have let him choose some woman simply because you didn’t care. One woman was as good as the next, because he’s the most important thing in your life.” She released his shirt and then shoved against his chest.
“And that’s what makes you want to run from us if you didn’t have your own reasons for being here?” He frowned, but tried to put enough arrogance in his voice to annoy her. He didn’t know if she was right about that. He hadn’t thought about it from that perspective, but he did acknowledge that he hadn’t pushed Colm.
“I know you’re not stupid.” She shook her head and swung away from him.
“No, not stupid. Just a man and I get that you don’t like the fact that Colm wanted to be with a woman who wasn’t his true mate rather than searching for her. As I said, he had his reasons and I was giving him time, just so you know. I wasn’t going to accept any of his choices.” Linc paced another circle around her to keep the pressure high.
She shot a look back over her shoulder at him. “Gods, you’re an idiot. Even more reason to stay away from you and him. I wouldn’t want the next generation to have to suffer from the trait.”
“Now that hurts.” He smiled.
“Look, I’m tired. Can’t this wait?” He saw her hands fist at her sides as he once again stopped in front of her. She definitely wasn’t calm.
“No, it can’t. We haven’t pushed. We’ve protected and given you the space you needed. You’ve lied and hidden important truths from us. I think it’s gone on long enough. Why aren’t we important enough to you to fight for?” He took a step forward, deliberately getting into her space. “Why don’t you think we’re worthy of claiming? We’re as much your mates as you are ours.”
Her mouth dropped open and she looked stunned. “Because I’m not sure of you and because I need more than mates in the physical sense. As far as I know, that’s all you can give me.”
He smiled, but resisted the urge to let his fingers trail over her lips. “The emotions will come. You have to give them time. The pull is already drawing us together even with all of the things you’ve done to keep us apart.”
She scowled and drew in a deep breath. Her fingers flexed and he saw her eyes begin to glow. Apparently assuring her that the emotions would grow wasn’t what she’d wanted.
“I can’t forget everything I know! It all tells me that you couldn’t possibly really want me, not beyond the physical draw of a mate. I’m not the kind of woman you’d ever choose.” Her hands lifted and she brushed them wearily over her face. Her shoulders shook as she took in a deep breath. “And now my damn powers are high. Are you happy?”
“Whatever you saw doesn’t matter. It won’t matter in the end. You are our mate and we’re not giving up on you. Now take some deep breaths and focus on what we’ve taught you to control your magic.” Linc put his hands on her shoulders. He wanted to be close just in case she needed to give him the power.
“Goddess, you like giving orders, don’t you?” She exhaled slowly, but she leaned closer to him.
“It comes with the position of Ardin.” He wasn’t really paying attention to what he said. Finally, giving in to the urge, he slid one of his hands down her back and began stroking. He wanted to soothe her. He’d pushed her as much as he could stand tonight.
“Now, you’re being nice to me.” Her head touched his chest and her breath seared his chest. “I thought you were angry with me. Can you stick with one emotion?”
“I was angry because you never tell us anything willingly. Now I’m concerned about my mate.” He dropped a kiss on the top of her head. “How is the magic feeling now?”
She swallowed and seemed to be focusing inward a little. “It’s better. It’s not easy for me, you know.
”
At first, he thought she was talking about the magic, but then he saw her looking up at him with an almost waiting expression and realized that she’d meant something else. “What’s not easy?”
“Talking, everything.” She exhaled and put her hand on his chest. “Everything seems harder than it was before.”
He didn’t need her to explain before what and he didn’t want to remind her of one of the worst moments of her life. Before Laed and Kynar had beaten her so badly, before she’d lost complete faith in anyone with the title of Ardin. He didn’t like paying for the sins of someone else, but he understood that trusting wasn’t going to come easily for her.
Somehow, when she was pushing and fighting against them, he kept forgetting that. She was recovering from the attack, but the emotional wounds still had some hold on her and probably would for some time. Hopefully, with some luck, they could help her overcome the past scars.
“It will get easier for you. I’ve seen changes in you in the short time you’ve been with us. They may have hurt you, but it isn’t anything that’s going to change who you are. I’ve seen the strength in you.” His hand cupped the back of her head before stroking down her back in a long, smooth sweep.
She looked up at him. “That’s sweet, but they did change me.”
He didn’t know exactly what she meant. The only thing he could think of was the physical way they changed her. He wasn’t bringing up the scars if she didn’t do it. Those marks had been a source of pain and insecurity for her from the first. “How?”
“You and Colm should be experts on some of the ways they’ve changed me. I can’t trust and now I’m even more afraid to take risks.” She closed her eyes. “It’s as if they took part of me when they attacked me.”
“You’re cautious now. That’s to be expected. If we don’t learn from our experiences, we could repeat them. That doesn’t mean that it’s all bad. Although I wouldn’t mind if you were able to trust us completely. Even if you came to us open and accepting, I doubt that it would be that simple anyway. As you’ve seen, any way it happened, bringing a new woman here was bound to cause some disturbance.” Linc shrugged. “If you’re really tired, I’ll take you to another room and you can sleep there, but I’ll stay in the room with you. You’re not going to be alone until the building has been searched and secured.”
“I’m sure that it’s safe now.” She sighed.
“I’m staying with you until I receive word. Are you tired?”
“Yes.” She sighed and glared at him briefly before nodding. “This is totally unnecessary and a waste of time.”
“Well, I don’t mind since I get to be with you.” He smiled and gestured to the bed. “Let’s go, but grab one of those blankets. The bed won’t be made. You’ll need something to cover yourself with.”
Cami grabbed one of the blankets from the bed and followed him out of the room. The fact that he had his sword seemed a little overdramatic to her, but she didn’t remark on it. He’d only point out that they couldn’t be certain that there were only two men. She knew there were only two men. They wouldn’t take that as fact, though. She had a feeling that Colm and Linc wouldn’t be satisfied until the entire Thent was searched at least once.
He led them to the room next door to the one he and Linc shared, opened the door and then looked over at her. “Is this room good? Do you have any objections to this bed?”
She looked at him for a moment before answering. Not even bothering to glance into the bedroom, she shrugged. “No, I don’t have any objections to this room. But why not just go to my room?”
“Because if you invite me in there, I want it to be your choice and at a time we can both enjoy it. I don’t want you to be forced in any way to do that.” Linc checked the room as he spoke. He opened the large wardrobe and even looked under the bed.
She knew he didn’t understand her problem with the bed in their room. That wasn’t something she was going to explain. Too many revelations in that simple, short explanation. They might be beginning to suspect exactly what she’d seen, but she didn’t want to confirm it. It was hard enough to keep them at a distance, even when they were being deliberately arrogant.
“Good.” He stayed as he was as she walked past him and then followed her into the room and shut the door. “Why don’t you go ahead and get some sleep? I’ll sit in the chair and wait for word of the search.”
She looked at the bed and then at him. She took a deep breath and tried to think rationally. Not too long ago, she’d been ready to kick and hit him. Dragging him into that bed was a bad idea. He already believed she was his mate. She needed to keep her distance.
Thinking of that didn’t help her much. The pull to be with him was strong and being in the same room with him when she was so tired wasn’t helping. Even though she was drowsy, her body tingled with awareness. Desire flared to a low burn simply from his presence. She wanted to sleep, but she didn’t want him all the way across the room watching her. She wanted him beside her. The attraction and draw to him surged through her. So strong, it was almost a physical urge.
“We both know that there is no danger. The people searching aren’t going to find anything. I know you’re as tired as I am. Why don’t you lie beside me? You can keep your sword nearby as long as you don’t accidentally cut me.” The words were out of her mouth almost before she realized what she was going to say. Her hands twisted the blanket in her grip.
“Are you sure? You know what happened between us the last few times we got close. I don’t think either of us is so tired that we’re going to be able to ignore it.” He raised a brow and didn’t move from where he stood.
She took a deep breath and tossed the blanket onto the foot of the bed just to get it out of her hands. Conflicting desires warred inside her. She wanted him close and she needed to keep him at a distance. Fear of change battled with the mate attraction.
Honesty forced her to admit that the current situation was the one she’d always feared. It couldn’t become worse. Not anymore. They already knew the truth. She couldn’t persuade them that they were wrong. The thought of his arms around her and the feel of his body next to hers only made doing the smart thing harder. Knowing that denying herself wouldn’t alter his beliefs, she came to a decision. She wasn’t going to deny herself the pleasure she knew he could offer.
“I’m sure. I want you beside me and what happens will happen. It would probably happen anyway. I want to be near you.” She shrugged and smiled slightly.
He nodded and she saw a slow smile curve his lips. “You’re probably right. I’ve wanted to hold you since the moment I saw you near the door. I don’t want you to regret this later. The only thing holding me back was the fear of losing the trust you’ve given us.”
“I won’t regret it. I sometimes wish we could do things differently at times, but this won’t be one of them.” She held out her hand in invitation.
He nodded and started over to her. “I’ve thought that myself over the last few days.”
He walked over to join her beside the bed and placed his sword on a small chest within reach. Clasping her wrist, he drew it to his chest. “I’m not certain exactly what you fear, but we’re not going to change our minds. We’re men, not boys. We know what we want.”
“You knew what you wanted before.” She wanted to take the words back the moment they slipped from her lips, but she couldn’t.
She saw him flinch a little and felt bad about throwing that remark at him.
“We were searching, even Colm, although he wouldn’t have been able to say exactly what he was looking for. He was trying to find something special.” Linc shook his head. “At the time, we were satisfied with what we had.”
She believed him. At least about his own way of looking at it, and she wasn’t going to say anything more. She really didn’t want to get into an argument with him about it. What she’d said wasn’t really fair. She was coming to see that, although she wasn’t sure why she felt that way. It was going
to take time to go through everything that had been said and what she felt to discover what had started the change of mind.
“Let’s lie down.” She tugged his hand and drew him onto the bed. “I want to kiss you.”
“I’ll give you a kiss any time you want. All you have to do is tell me.” He slid onto the mattress beside her and drew his fingers across her shoulder.
“Give me a kiss now.” She took him at his word and she enjoyed the opportunity to give him an order for a change.
He scooted closer and brushed his lips across hers. The caress wasn’t tentative, but it was soft and patient. It drew her into thrusting her tongue against his and nipping his lips. She needed to know he hungered as much as she did. Her hand slipped around the back of his neck and pulled him closer.
She seized control of the kiss, claiming his lips and pushing him onto his back. Now that she had the opportunity, she indulged in the urge to touch. Her hands spread across his bare chest savoring the warm skin there. She scraped her nails over the wide, muscled plane and smiled as the move drew a groan from him.
His hands fastened at her waist and pulled her over him. She straddled him, but wished she’d thought to ask him to undress before she pulled him into bed with her. The ridge of his cock pressed against her, but it wasn’t enough. She wanted to feel his cock pushing deep inside her and the heat of his body as they moved against each other.
His hands swept up her thighs, gathering her nightgown along the way. He drew the fabric up revealing her stomach and higher until she lifted her arms so he could pull it free. The moment he flung the gown away, his hands went straight to her breasts. He lifted and squeezed the mounds.
She closed her eyes and enjoyed the firm touch of his calloused fingers. Her hips jerked when his fingers plucked at her nipples. The sensation streaked down her body. The fiery heat seemed connected to her clit and the tightening feeling low in her stomach. Her thighs tightened around his hips and she ground down against him.