HerMatesEmbrace Page 15

  “I never thought of it in that way. I think I wanted to stay with the familiar. I know everyone here.” She shrugged.

  Cami nodded. She could understand wanting to stay with the known rather than the unknown. “Do you think there will be others such as you who want to confront me for taking the Ardin away?”

  She felt silly even saying it that way, but she knew that was how some of the women saw it. Those men didn’t do anything they didn’t want to do and she had no hope of leading them around with a crook of her finger as the women seemed to think.

  “I don’t know. Maybe.” Zinnia shrugged. “What were you really doing up here? You don’t seem as if you’re all that interested and yet you’re still here.”

  “I needed some time away from my thoughts. Walking and looking, while not entirely effective, works enough to keep my mind from circling and making me feel trapped.” Cami shrugged. “That’s something I try to stay away from.”

  “Feeling trapped?” Zinnia frowned.

  “Yeah, I never did like being crowded, but now, it’s worse. I panic and overreact to any situation where I feel trapped. I feel silly and embarrassed afterward, but I can’t seem to stop it.” She wasn’t even going to go into how the feeling made the magic in her rise and the trouble that caused.

  “How do you deal with Colm and Linc then? There are two of them and you can’t choose one or the other.” Zinnia’s head tilted and she straightened.

  “They’ve been good about giving me time and space. Most of the time, they’re on one side of me or they keep a step or two away so that I don’t get panicked.” Cami really appreciated that and until this moment, she hadn’t thought about how much they made allowances for her fears and her needs.

  Zinnia’s eyes widened. “They’re serious about you. More serious than I’d thought even from hearing they chased after you. I guess you’ve learned enough about Colm to realize that that’s a very significant thing.”

  She knew they were serious, but she hadn’t thought much about what Colm’s reactions would be if he wasn’t. She’d been so focused on the fact that she knew he was reluctant to find and mate with his true mate. As to the significance of them making allowances for her issues with being crowded, she wasn’t so sure of that.

  Colm might be brash, but he also had a protective streak. She thought it was part of the reason why he was Ardin. He’d be concerned and considerate of anyone who he considered weak or hurt. It irked, but she was almost certain that they did see her as at least fragile, if only emotionally. In the end, though, she couldn’t blame them for that. She did have some problems and was still trying to get her feet under her in ways.

  “I know they’re focused, but I think that’s more of a character trait for them.” She shrugged.

  “You think that our focus on you isn’t significant?” Colm’s voice came from the doorway.

  Cami jumped and her heart raced. Her head snapped around to the bedroom doorway. Colm leaned against the frame of the door and Linc stood just in the hall. Her eyes narrowed and she fought not to grit her teeth or growl. That habit of theirs of popping up when she was talking about them made her want to scream.

  “You two need a bell. I’m getting sick of you creeping up on me and startling me.” She put a hand on her hip even as she tried to keep the growl out of her voice. It wasn’t only them, but they happened to be the focus of her current aggravation.

  “We wouldn’t hear so many interesting things. I think a bell tinkling would be annoying. I’d definitely have to take it off.” Linc smiled and hooked a thumb in his belt.

  “Even if you are Ardin of this Thent, eavesdropping is still impolite.” She didn’t expect some kind of behavioral change from this argument. They were who they were, but she wanted them aware of how she felt about it.

  Colm shrugged. “We were coming to get you. Listening to what you had to say just happened to be one of the good things that came out of doing that.”

  “Came to get me for what? We don’t have anything planned.” She folded her arms across her chest.

  “Well, we didn’t, but we’re going to talk.” Linc held out his hand. “Now.”

  “I don’t want to talk now.” She threw the words out there and she knew it was a challenge in a way. She didn’t know what they’d do, but she was ready to find out. If she was lucky, they might not want to push her because they didn’t want her afraid of them.

  “You are in a mood, aren’t you? You can walk beside us or one of us can pick you up and carry you. Do you want to find out now how you’ll handle being hauled through the fortress when you normally don’t like being confined at all?” Colm straightened.

  “You two can’t even think about compromise. It’s no wonder that I detest men with power.” Her jaw ached and she wondered if she was going to grind her back teeth to nothing with those two around.

  He’d do what he threatened. She knew it by the look in his eyes. She definitely didn’t want to be hauled through the halls. Not so much because she thought she’d panic if he held her, although she did wonder if she would. She knew that being in his arms would only make the attraction to him worse. She’d want to touch and put her arms around him. She needed to stay angry at him and keep both of them at a distance to keep her head clear. It was bad enough she couldn’t stop thinking about them or the emotional attraction that came with the mating, even if she’d stopped most of the sexual pull with the drug.

  Linc blinked a little and his eyes narrowed, but that was the only sign that the words had affected him. Colm didn’t seem to react.

  “Make your decision.” Linc’s voice was quiet.

  “I’ll go with you. It’s not as though you’re giving me much choice anyway.” She narrowed her eyes and held back a hiss. As attracted as she was to them, she didn’t like their orders or the situation she found herself in even if she did have a hand in creating it.

  “Good. We’re going down to our room. We definitely want privacy for this discussion. Walk in front of us,” Colm ordered.

  She exhaled slowly. No getting out of this now. Oh she could run down the stairs. If she managed the corner out of the stairwell perfectly, she could put some distance between them. Getting to the first floor and out of the building was pretty near impossible without them catching up to her. They were faster than her, knew the building better and anyone in front of her or in her way would try to stop her if they saw her running from the Ardin.

  She led the way down the stairs and through the halls to their room. They followed and she could feel their eyes locked on her. They weren’t letting her out of their sight. She’d made them angry, but they were focused on talking and most likely getting the answers to a few questions.

  She should have kept her mouth shut until she had some time to think. Why hadn’t she just gone down to the room with them without an argument? It would have seemed as if she had nothing to hide from them. After they’d startled her, everything had been a defensive reaction. She’d wanted space and time. She grimaced. Those were the two things her reaction had pretty much guaranteed she wouldn’t get.

  At the door, she paused. She didn’t know whether she should open it or wait for them to open it simply to make the point that only their orders and threats had gotten her this far. She didn’t have time to decide. Colm reached past her and pushed the door inward before urging her inside the room.

  She walked into the room and strode to the opposite side of the room. She ignored the bed and the two chairs near a table. She didn’t want them towering over her while she sat. In their present mood, she knew they weren’t going to calmly take a seat. They could also start any conversation since she wasn’t going to volunteer any information.

  The two men stopped at the edge of the bed, leaving ample space between them, and simply stared at her. She appreciated the space, especially since she knew what they suspected. They stood side by side. Colm had his arms crossed over his chest and Linc had his thumb hooked into his belt. She lifted her head and kep
t her mouth closed, although she did have the rash urge to throw out a challenging “what.”

  “You’ve been hiding a lot from us. Did you think we wouldn’t find out even if you chose to try to keep it from us forever?” Linc frowned. His deep voice emerged in a low rumble, but the words were slow and controlled.

  “Yes, I’ve hidden things, but I always knew there was a chance that it could be discovered. I had my reasons and most of them still apply.” She narrowed her eyes at his censuring tone.

  “Most of them still apply. I’m sure we’ll get into the reasons you think you have, but first, on to the latest discovery. You’re our mate. Did you think we wouldn’t want to know? That we didn’t have a right to know?” Linc arched an eyebrow in imperious demand.

  “A right? You don’t want a mate. Neither one of you do really. He was deliberately looking for a woman who wouldn’t be tied to either one of you by anything more than sex and maybe a little emotion.” She gestured to Colm and shook her head. “I may be that person or I may not be. Knowing what I do about you two, I didn’t give your rights much thought. I deserve a chance to be happy. I’m still not sure that will ever happen if I’m with you.”

  “You are our mate. Whatever you’re using doesn’t completely disguise your taste.” Colm leaned in close and his eyes narrowed.

  She shrugged. Well, that cleared up any doubt about what he’d felt when he tasted her. “That really doesn’t matter. I won’t stop using these tools until I’m certain that it’s the best choice. If you take it from me, I’ll be gone before you wake up the next morning. I won’t be resented or simply tolerated because you think mating with me is the only thing you can do now. We have options and I’m not going to let you take them away from us.”

  “You have options? I can really only see two of them for you. Accept us and the mating or try running until we catch you. We’re not giving you up now that we know.” Colm took a slow step forward. “We don’t give up what’s ours.”

  “Goddess, you’re being stubborn and deliberately blind. The feelings from the taste will fade eventually and you know it. The instincts won’t truly kick in until you smell me or I smell you clearly.” She shook her head. “Until then, we can walk away from this. That might be the best option for all of us. I’m not what you want.”

  “You say things such as that and you really expect us not to want to strip you and scrub you until whatever is on you is finally off?”

  She sighed and looked at the wall for a moment as she tried to push down her mounting frustration. “A lot of this isn’t about you two, although I do have my doubts about if I could ever be anything more than just a mate to you. I don’t want you to accept me simply because of that. I deserve more than that. I’m not sure I can deal with Thent life and then there’s my magic. Maybe it won’t be dangerous, but it’s always going to be there. Something that makes me more of a burden at times, because you’re going to have to teach me even the basics.”

  “I still don’t know how you know some of the things you know, but I’m beginning to believe that it’s more than the crystal. I think it’s also because of your lineage. Yes, the chatar told us.” Linc’s head tilted as he caught her sharp look at him. “Your doubts will fade with time. We’ll make sure of that. You are and will be a priority for us. You seem to be dealing fairly well with life in a Thent.”

  She definitely didn’t like the gleam in his eyes. “It’s temporary. That’s how I’m coping.”

  “Some coping. You’re relaxed and comfortable, not tense.” Colm took a step to the side and eased closer to her.

  “Damn it, why don’t you two listen? It’s not as though I’m such a prize. I’m not beautiful or perfect and definitely not your type. Don’t you think you deserve someone better? Someone who’ll be able to trust you easily. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to have that kind of simple belief in anyone again.” She nearly choked on the word perfect.

  “I think she’s hit every one of them.” Linc looked over at Colm.

  “Every one of what?” She narrowed her eyes.

  “Every excuse. I think there might be a couple that you missed. You left out not being able to cope with being with us both sexually.” Colm smiled, but the predatory intent pushed it far beyond comforting.

  “Probably because it would be such an obvious lie.” Linc exhaled slowly. “We’re not going to forget that you’re our mate. That’s not going to change, but we’re not going to strip away your defenses. You’re going to do that.”

  “No.” She stared at him. Had he gone crazy? Why would she want to do that?

  Colm nodded. “You won’t settle for second best and now neither will we. We want you.”

  “Physically, you want me. You don’t know me.” She felt cornered and frustrated by their insistence that there wasn’t any way but their way. She was also a little afraid that they were right. Her doubts burned inside her, but the natural attraction to her mates pulled her to them. Her body ached to know their touch, but she also wanted to know them as men. What scared her most was Linc and Colm might simply tolerate her. She might not be able to walk away from them even knowing that.

  “Then we’ll have to get to know you and you will learn about us at the same time. We’ll be talking and spending time together. Don’t expect us not to treat you as our Lady when we know what you are.” Colm took a step forward and his eyes swept over her.

  “But I’m not your Lady. Not formally. If you treat me that way, your people are going to expect some kind of declaration at the least.” Her eyes widened and shock rolled through her. That was a step beyond what she’d thought they’d take even when she imagined the worst scenarios. Well, other than taking her bag and dragging her to the bath as they had warned her they wanted to do. Not that the bath would work.

  “That’s something you’re going to have to bear. We’re not backing away from this. You are our mate and we won’t be hiding that fact. I know what I tasted even if it wasn’t reinforced by your smell. I want to feel everything. Do you think I can know this without wanting to have it all?” Colm took another step forward and his hand lifted and cupped the side of her cheek.

  She didn’t back away from him. She was too stunned. The man who’d searched for a woman who wasn’t his mate was determined to claim her now because she was his mate. It made no sense. Acknowledging it and accepting it were the last things she thought he’d ever do if he found out. At least, not for a long time and after a lot of struggle. It seemed too easy. She was almost positive that she was going to feel the backlash of it.

  “And what about the women you led on with your dogged search through the females of your own Thent? Are you going to deal with them? I don’t think they’re all going to accept it easily.” She scowled at him and tried to ignore the warmth of his hand. It felt right to have him touching her, even though the possessiveness in his eyes made her want to kick him.

  “Words from him aren’t going to make them back off. They’re going to have to see that we’re serious about you. I don’t think they’ll believe it’s real until the ceremony is completed.” Linc shook his head, drawing her attention.

  He was probably right and that irritated her. She was the one who’d be getting all of the attitude and dealing with any problems that arose because of it. So not fair.

  She wasn’t the one who’d practically spat on the idea of mating and now wasn’t willing to consider any other option. Not that she had any clue why he’d been so adamant about it. She simply knew that he hadn’t been willing to consider it before.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Cami opened her eyes. She saw the light blue floor moving slowly below her, but her feet never touched the stone. A tingling flutter moved through her belly as she turned the corner. She felt light and weightless, almost as if she floated through water.

  She knew she was dreaming, but not a normal dream. The detached sensation and an inability to control any part of it told her that this was a vision. She needed to see something, but s
he had no idea why.

  She drifted through the lower part of the fortress. Her eyes moved over the halls and doors, trying to spot whatever was drawing her away from normal sleep. She didn’t know where she was going. A feeling pulled at her, tugging her through the building.

  Alarm coursed through her as she approached the thick entrance doors. Were Laed and Kynar here? Before she could do more than wonder, the panels swung open wide. Cool, moist night air brushed against her skin and a soft breeze caught her hair and flicked it up around her face.

  Clouds filled the sky, but she could see without any problem. Even better than she should be able to without the moon or stars shining overhead. The feel of the wind and even the scents around her seemed almost as real as if she’d walked outside. It was so strange. The first drops of a light mist began falling and she’d swear she felt the drops hit her arms. She looked down, but her body wasn’t there. It never was in these visions.

  She floated across the darkened ground, drawn past the stables and arms area within the walls of the Thent. As she approached the thick defensive walls, the drawing pull lessened. Whatever she needed to see was nearby. What had drawn her out of normal sleep and to this spot of all places?

  She looked around trying to see what was here. Inky dark shadows covered this corner of the wall. Nothing moved. She saw no one pacing the walk at the top of the wall or any sign of trouble. It was darker here than anywhere else along the wall, though.

  A small pulling sensation along her spine gave her the only warning. She soared upward, yanked as if by an invisible string. Her stomach tightened and she clamped her mouth closed on a scream. The fields and houses spread out beyond the wall, but movement near the base of the wall caught her attention. She narrowed her eyes as she saw someone climbing the wall. At first, she didn’t know how the person was doing it, but then she saw the rope attached to a hook.